Running - My New Best Friend

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Well maybe not my best friend, that spot is already taken. But in recent months, running and I seem to have developed a bond, we have reached an understanding and an appreciation has grown.

September is Coming

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September is coming. Soon the children will be heading back to school and autumn will be arriving. It also means the start of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, the colour for which is gold.

Lights, Camera, Action!

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I have often wondered what it would be like to be famous, to be photographed and interviewed. That's probably my over active imagination at work again, but I suspect I'm not alone in being curious. Is it exciting, nerve wracking or just plain boring? Is it easy to trip over words, say the wrong thing or have your mind just go completely blank.

A Great Big Dose of Normality

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Well it seems that summer is finally here.  The children have broken up from school, the tube is like a sauna and everyone is excitedly talking about their upcoming holidays.

Something Worth Celebrating

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I hadn't planned on writing a post about it.  One year since our lives were turned upside down, 12 months since my amazing, beautiful, precious son was diagnosed with leukaemia.  I didn't want to give cancer the satisfaction of acknowledging its existence, of the impact it has had on us all.  It shouldn't get any more time and attention than I am already forced to give it.  It certainly doesn't seem like something worth celebrating.

You are not alone

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I've been struggling.  Not a huge amount, just a little bit, every once in a while.  It shouldn't be a surprise I suppose, it's probably to be expected.  My son has cancer, how could I not be finding things difficult?  Questions would surely be raised if I wasn't.  Why then does it seem so hard to admit?  I've been struggling and I've been seeing a psychologist.  There, I've said it.

Screw you Cancer

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Last night I sat in my son's bedroom and held him in my arms as he cried in pain.  His hip hurt and he couldn't find relief from it.  I tried desperately to help.  I rubbed his hip, wiped his tears and whispered comforting words.  We tried different positions, distraction and holding him close, but it wasn't enough.  I couldn't take the pain away.  Not for the first time I felt powerless, frustrated and overwhelmed with sadness for failing to protect him from harm.

What is maintenance all about?

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We have now reached the end of our first 12 week cycle of the maintenance phase.  We are slowly adjusting to another new normal, one that will last a long time.

A Mini Holiday

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Our first mini holiday.  3 nights in the Cotswolds.  Our first chance since Hugo's diagnosis nearly 9 months ago to get away.  An opportunity to forget everything else that is going on, to relax, have fun and be together.  Most importantly, a chance to be a normal family, doing normal family things.

For my Mum

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Dear Mum

It has been two years since you passed away.  I can hardly believe that so much time has gone by, that our lives have somehow managed to continue without you here.  You have missed so much and time has not lessened our sadness or the huge gap you have left in our lives.

Reaching Maintenance - Yay!

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Today saw us back at GOSH for a second attempt at starting maintenance.  Hugo's rosy cheeks had gone and his bloods were up a little, so we were hopeful that this time would be more successful.

False Start

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So today we set off to GOSH for the start of the maintenance phase.

Hugo's bloods were taken on Friday and they were still a little low, but we'd checked with GOSH and they were confident they would increase enough over the weekend to allow us to start maintenance today.

Bye Bye Delayed Intensification

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Delayed Intensification, phase 4, is over, woo hoo!

Unsurprisingly, Hugo and his daddy managed just fine with the blood transfusion. The colour is slowly returning to his cheeks and his energy levels that were so zapped during phase 4 are on the up again.

A New Kind of Strength

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So, as predicted, Hugo needs a blood transfusion.  He's done well to get through Christmas and into the new year, but his luck has run out and it's a visit to our local hospital for him today.  Henry has a trip for his birthday to see the musical The Lion King and I am the lucky one taking him, which means Richard is on hospital duty.

Restoring a Little Balance

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Welcome to 2016!  Well we nearly welcomed in the new year from a hospital bed - another narrow escape.  Hugo's temperature went up during the early evening.  It wasn't quite high enough for immediate action so we kept an eye on it with crossed fingers.  It fluctuated for a couple of hours before coming down and staying down, much to our relief.  We felt very fortunate to have avoided a hospital stay again and it was lovely to have both boys tucked up in their own beds as we saw in the new year, albeit with no fizz - just in case a hospital dash became necessary.